Fifty *Whatevers* of *nothing important*...and a lot of off=topic self pity ranting.. (Post got derailed into ranting, real post to follow)

Thanks, Erica! I NEEDED the giggle reading your post about the Fifty Shades series (and your thoughts on This post from Amberance, and its subsequent follow-ups) gave me, to counteract the fury induced by THIS one from Abel. I've seen various other rather polarised rants from various people belonging to TTWD, about E.L. James' series, but have no intention of reading it myself. I can already tell I won't like it, just from the reviews, and I got enough of being forced to read books I KNEW from the reviews I wouldn't like, in secondary school. (I was proven right every time. And I got my face whacked WAY too many times in year 10, and then got (And still get) accused of 'faking it' or being 'paranoid' or 'too jumpy' because there are scenes in Romeo and Juliet I dive sideways if people around me start quoting.

"Thank me no thankings, proud me no prouds. *WHACK*" For example. *Rubs cheek* OW. Even thinking about it makes my cheek sting. One time, our poor teacher didn't check the force he was using from smacking a desk to get everyone's attention to acting out that line, and I was knocked sideways by the force. And of course, the teachers' aide accuses me of making an un-necessary fuss and faking it.

Damn. I just derailed myself, when I wanted to stay on topic. Now, back to Fity Yucks of Putridness.

Any book that seems to think that strong women NEED to submit, or that successful women should apologise if they have a kinky side (or the other way around. Or BOTH, if the case may be!) I will have issues with. Any book that AUTOMATICALLY assumes that anyone who is into TTWD is only into it to either please their partner, or because they were abused as a child or a young person, (Or any combination of this) also immediately earns my ire. (Sadly, I did find TTWD due to abuse...sorta. When I was first eighteen I knew nothing about TTWD, even though I had encountered bits and pieces of it in google searches during a school assignment on spousal abuse vs child abuse a few years perviously.

A google search, and a spanking 'porn' website later, I was hooked. (I'd originally found that website when I was sixteen, on a really bad day, and memorised its address, cause I was too young to look at it. That was during the infamous assignment.) Yes, I became a hard-core spanko because I felt sorrier for the poor girl on the screen than I felt for myself...And that was after making one of the hardest decisions of my life. (I had been forced, the previous weekend, to choose between the new clothes I needed, and the dignity, personal space, and lack of parental internal violation which should have been my automatic RIGHT. I was sixteen at the time, and accidentally found that 'porn' site during a school assignment.

I deliberately went back to the site when I turned 18. I think that was Girls' Boarding School. (No link to that, cause I can't find the site, and the new site the old address transfers to is full of BDSM stuff, which actually squicks me. Spanking, I'm into. Getting tied up then spanked, no thanks. Getting tied up and forcibly penetrated? NO. I got enough of that from my mother's fingers as a kid, because I wouldn't hold still and co-operate when she decided she had the right to check if my new trousers fit in the crotch...by PUTTING HER HAND UP MY CROTCH.) Shit, I'm resentful today.

Anyway, the old Girls' Boarding School was good, but had too much gratuitous nudity for my tastes. I've been an on-again-off-again member of a different site, depending on my finances. (And no, David, this isn't a plea for a gift subscription, even though I greatly appreciated the first one, eight years ago.-J.) One of its best-known models, and its owner, are MySpace friends of mine, although they know me by my first name, rather than the shortening of my middle name, which is what I usually go by. (I think they also know that neither name is actually my legal name, which I was taught at school to NEVER give out online...one of the number of things my schooling (both primary and secondary) taught me that were actuallyy GOOD advice) Hi, David and Pixie. And everyone else over at Here. I love you guys. Thanks for being there when I needed to rant and yell about crap. Sorry I haven't actually messaged you for FAR too long.

GRRRR. Derailed myself again. And made myself mad. Excuse me, I need chocolate.

*Ten minutes later* OK. I'm back. I was talking about the Fifty Shades series. Frankly, I'd rather talk about the Famous Five or the Secret Seven, but I won't talk about them on an adult-only blog. No matter how much I love them, or think various characters could have benefitted from a good paddling or three. Hell, Harry Potter's even better than Fifty Eurghs of Blech. (And it has its own spanko following. How else does one explain all the spanking fanfics?)

*Clears throat* ANYWAY. I was SUPPOSED to be ranting about how much the Fifty Shades series sucks, and instead I'm off on one of my epic self-pity rants. Feel free to suggest getting myself a life, or getting over it and not being an ungrateful little *deleted*.

Stuff this. Go read Amberance's posts, while I get the mad out of my head. I'll be back when I'm not pissed at the universe.